Jackie T. writes:
Emo hair, Emo pants, and Emo music. Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. I really hate to give them the attention, but if I see one more guy wearing pants so tight, he couldn’t possibly have reproductive organs; and more eyeliner than an entire whore house, I swear I’m jumping the curb and taking out them out, and anyone standing nearby. Ok?
REAL PROBLEMStm is on the record for not condoning violence towards our fellow man. (even though there are no Emo men, only little Emo girls.) If your pants are so tight that they make your gonads retreat into your body so that you can express yourself or your music or whatever, that is some serious dedication to being a world-class tool. Running people over (while tempting) is frowned upon legally; however, if a movie came out that had a bunch of Emo people getting run over by a Buick, it would probably win an Academy Award.
*REAL PROBLEMStm note to self: begin drafting script of Bangs of Blood: Emo Car Wreck in 3D
The good news is that My Chemical Romance’s new single stinks. That’s going to hit the Emo community pretty hard. Not to mention tight pants are awful for your sperm count. (Shh, keep this a secret!) When they grow up and try to reproduce, the doctor will reveal to them, “Maybe if you didn’t wear tight pants all those years, you could be spitting out a black haired, eyeliner wearing creep of your own.”
Emo really is on the way out. If you looked at a line graph from 2004 to 2011, you would see a sharp decline in Emo kids. So, just hang in there and laugh at them behind their backs like the rest of us.
REAL PROBLEMS 